For years he’s been swanning about the internet like he owns the place, leaving many people with many questions.

Questions like:

So don’t hang about, click on the question that interests you most and learn more about the enigma that is, Mr Uku. There’s all kinds of stuff here that might leave you breathless and a little surprised. It’s not all killer monkeys and ill-advised hats. There might even be cake.

(There won’t be cake. The cake was eaten ages ago along with the bacon. It doesn’t pay to dawdle when cake and bacon are on the line.)