Gabriella Evans

Here’s another from my short lived A-Z of death. Still part of the Crosses For Eyes collection though.

For those who might not know, a po is what we used to call a potty. It was also known as a Guzundah, because it guzundah the bed. Used when most people didn’t have inside toilets and often shared a communal outside toilet.

I don’t know why, but my pomes all seem to be set in the olden days. I think life was harder then so there’s more unusual ways to die.

When Gabriella Evans saw her mother stub a toe
And stagger backwards tripping on the large ceramic po
And kick the nightly doings all across the bedroom floor
And slipping, in the piss and shit, go sliding through the door
And crash right into father, which caught him unawares
And watched her ma and pa go rolling backwards down the stairs
And saw them roll into the street in nothing but their drawers
Where they tried to get back on their feet before the neighbours saw
And the flap on father’s long johns had split from front to back
And mother shouted “Everyone can see your devil’s crack!”
She laughed so long and hard that she forgot to take a breath
And that’s how Gabriella Evans laughed herself to death

So there you go. A funny death and a history lesson all in one.